I have been thinking a little more about what I should do with myself once I graduate. Two themes I want to address today are:
- Learning as a lifestyle
- Refusing to accept today’s lifestyle of “Asset Rich, Money Poor” – instead embracing “Asset Poor, Money/Lifestyle Rich”
Perhaps another reason (I know, I keep on giving many differing but relevant reasons) why I have not enjoyed my degree is because I haven’t been increasing my skill set. Whose fault is this? Perhaps it is my own. But should I be blamed? All I can say is that I hope to pass on my lessons to someone else one day.
What skill sets do I think are valuable in the school of life? I think the key skill sets involve managing people – this is what leadership is about. And leading people (by articulating them around your vision) is about actions which follow a spectrum from carrot to stick – or from fighting to serving.
Fighting
Yes, that’s right – fighting as a skill. And I mean in all respects – physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Physically, well I haven’t got into a fight. Perhaps I have not allowed myself to. Intellectually, fighting at Oxford brings no reward, despite all the claims on the tin. The views of your tutor are likely to be so ingrained as to make fighting impossible, and if you do try to fight the likelihood is that your work will be branded a polemic. Emotional fighting – I think this is about fighting with yourself. But the only way you win this is if you truly believe the fight you are having is worth it. Are you tired for an end goal? Good. Were you beaten because you tried? Fantastic. And spiritual fighting applies in the same manner – learning how to control your ego so it doesn’t control you.
Anyone who doesn't believe this, go watch Fight Club. Then think about how the men all changed when they learnt about fighting. Forget about the big plot. Just see how the men had their lives motivated once they had got in a fight, and they lost their egos, toughening up in the process.
Persuasion and charisma
Persuading someone to do something is rarely just a rational task. A lot of the time in order to persuade or influence someone you have to change their mood or emotions, or cater to one of their needs. This is a skill that needs practice, and practice is trying something to better yourself in the knowledge that you will always be failing to a certain degree.
Think about most best-selling self-help and business books on the market (because they tend to be pretty much the same thing, although in slightly different niches). They all evoke emotions. They use author surrogates, literary devices, and feature a big grinning guru on the front cover. And whether or not they contain much information, the best are those that emotionally move the person most. These books brim with charisma. And people like them. That's why books that are emotionally fulfilling are far better selling than books that just provide pure information - why does Freakonomics or Unlimited Power sell far better than any college level economics text book? Because of the charisma contained within.
Serving
I think knowing how to serve others is another skill, and more than a skill – it’s a discipline. Always presenting value to others in some way shape or form will get other people giving value to you. Why? Because they get addicted to the value you serve them with, and in order to ensure that fix keeps on coming they keep on trying to offer you some value. This concept is explained rather well in Never Eat Alone, where Ferrazzi is told he needs to give value to others for their network to work effectively.
Asset rich, penny poor?
What’s the point of having a big house if you can’t feed yourself or have fun? Or what’s the point of owning a £100,000 car when you instead could travel the world in amazing fashion for two to three years?
Welcome to the world of the asset rich, penny poor. These are the people who put all their money into assets – things that people charge a hell of a lot of money for. Homes, cars, whatever. But the fact of the matter is that thse people could be having a far more enjoyable life if they decided to live life based on experiences, interaction with others and learning.
Next year, I believe I will try to follow a different philosophy - asset poor, money rich. So no car, no house (will try and live somewhere cheaply), no expensive clothes, no expensive possessions - instead, I will work to spend my money on having amazing experiences - experiences that not only are hedonistic (i.e. make me super ultra happy), but also experiences that are self-actualizing, and assist me in constantly growing and changing in a never-ending state of growth.
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